Your question seems to be about learning mathematics (or mathematical meta skills) rather than mathematics itself. Such questions are generally considered off-topic on MO and MSE. If you want published research on mathematicians' thought provesses, your question might be well received here (as pointed out by Gerald Edgar in the comments), but I guess this is not exactly what you have in mind.
Your question is interesting not only for those who share your problem but also those who teach mathematics. Understanding different types of difficulties a student (at any level) might have and having antidotes for each type is valuable for a teacher and a teacher with suitable experience might be able to help you. Therefore I would suggest posting your question at the StackExchange site for mathematics educators:
http://matheducators.stackexchange.com/https://matheducators.stackexchange.com/
If you ask your question there, try to make your questions specific enough so that it is possible to actually answer them. You can also try to make your question useful to teachers to make it better received. Since you are already a graduate student, I think you can — to some extent at least — consider yourself as your own teacher and that point of view can help. Teachers might also be very interested in reading your description of your problem in order to understand the difficulties their own students face.
