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added key point
François G. Dorais
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Please remove or replace whenever you see it! This is the intended use of this non-tag!

Per comments by Glorfindel and Fran├žois above, it looks like this is impossible. (I'll accept this answer once I can to move this off the unanswered queue, and of course unaccept it if evidence to the contrary emerges.)

Noah Schweber
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